Bachelor Party Gift

1

I agree that the human need to belong to a group will prevail–it is evolution's gift to humans that has allowed us to become the dominant species on earth. The conflict, however, remains between our need for social belonging, which frequently inspires us to altruistic behaviors that do not directly help us as individuals, and the individual drive to selfishly do what best helps us get ahead.

This conflict' also evolution's gift, has played itself out throughout history in ways that have caused us to sacrifice ourselves to support our tribe, but be eager to violently destroy those from other tribes who threaten us. When the world was large and there were only a small number of nearby tribes with which we could disagree, this more or less worked out. As global becomes the new neighborhood, this is a recipe for endless strife.

If humans are to survive, we have to learn to expand our notion of tribe. If we cannot, we doom ourselves to constant conflict that will likely destroy us. As millennials inevitably rejoin society, let's hope they are able to continue to have a more expansive sense of who "we" are.

4 2016-11-13 07:45:30 - MarshallD
2

@AACNY: Very true. Barack Obama handed Republicans a nice gift in 2008, alright, and again in 2012.

1 2016-07-03 06:56:05 - NA
3

A tragedy that took an outstanding person. I hope he lives on as an organ donor. I am a kidney recipient and know the value of the gift of life.

1 2015-09-23 02:58:54 - Anne Hess
4

"...in recent years he had begun to view his talent not so much as a gift, but as an obligation." And in a culture where everything has to be fun, fun, fun and me, me, me, obligations and responsibilities are just so passé.

2 2015-06-24 08:05:59 - Netanel2b
5

Losing 63,000 jobs is a small price to pay to make sure you don't have anything to do with the ACA. And, the hooker is you can blame the high unemployment on the President. A gift to the GOP!

1 2015-06-21 21:15:29 - LJS
6

Love it! Danny Snyder continues to believe he knows how to run a football team yet provides daily evidence to the contrary. He is the gift that keeps on giving!

2 2015-05-12 14:13:14 - Zen Dad
7

Since your book was so fascinating - and one I have given as a gift on more than one occasion - I very much appreciate reading this update. Thank you for your excellent writing about such an important story and family.

7 2015-05-11 17:55:42 - JAL
8

Charles, you've gone along way to purging your demons in this courageous, masterfully-written essay. Your inspiration is evident. a gift to everyone who reads this. Well done, and thank you!

12 2015-04-01 11:44:19 - Greg
9

Pranay, I wish you well in your career. Your humanity and honesty and authenticity is a gift to me and to your now and future patients. There is no perfection, only goodness and doing our best to do no harm.

71 2015-01-29 09:57:42 - Barb

Post to Bachelor Party Gift (login required)





5VW to Pay $1.2 Billion to U.S. Dealers Hurt by Diesel Scandal33Demise of the Southern Democrat Is Now Nearly Complete799Inequality Is a Drag957A Scourge Is Spreading. M.T.A.’s Cure? Dude, Close Your Legs.489The Wolf Hunters of Wall Street1194Living Wages, Rarity for U.S. Fast-Food Workers, Served Up in Denmark989The Battle for New York Schools: Eva Moskowitz vs. Mayor Bill de Blasio104The Profits-Investment Disconnect580U.S. to Commit Up to 3,000 Troops to Fight Ebola in Africa245Living on Purpose409Staten Island Man Died From Chokehold During Arrest, Autopsy Finds355Poor Sanitation in India May Afflict Well-Fed Children With Malnutrition775After Losing Scottish Independence Vote, Alex Salmond Will Resign323How Billionaire Oligarchs Are Becoming Their Own Political Parties1Cambodians Gather to Pray, Offer Gifts for 'Killing Fields' Dead1338The Extraordinary Science of Addictive Junk Food108My Selfie, Myself1457Children and Guns: The Hidden Toll374A Political Crystal Ball219An Affair to Remember, Differently52Live Updates: Aftermath of Grand Jury's Decision in Michael Brown Shooting in Ferguson1511Shooting Accounts Differ as Holder Schedules Visit to Ferguson101Teenagers Stand Up to Backpage4380A Plea for Caution From Russia818How Obama Lost America334Death by Data281In Florida Student Assaults, an Added Burden on Accusers1625A Punch Is Seen, and a Player Is Out164 The Shifting Politics of Cuba Policy 2207Under Pressure, Cuomo Says Ebola Quarantines Can Be Spent at Home652Germany Fights Population Drop494Trayvon Martin Case Shadowed by Series of Police Missteps167It Takes a Mentor622House Votes to Sue Obama for Overstepping Powers597Don’t Muzzle the Clown443The Humanist Vocation192Weak Oversight, Deadly Cars163More on Sleeping Pills and Older Adults1092The Big Lie Behind Voter ID Laws 128‘Princelings’ in China Use Family Ties to Gain Riches495Doctors Denounce Cancer Drug Prices of $100,000 a Year445Let’s Reject the ‘Inevitable’530Will Portland Always Be a Retirement Community for the Young?733On Election’s Eve, G.O.P. Is Confident, but Voters Are Sour118The Building Blocks of a Good Pre-K 1031One Day in an Elevator With Obama, Then Out of a Job630Ultra-Orthodox Shun Their Own for Reporting Child Sexual Abuse290Cuomo’s Gun Law Plays Well Downstate but Alienates Upstate 999Why Are There Still So Few Women in Science?449Alice Munro Wins Nobel Prize in Literature